Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane has stated before that he’s a huge Star Trek fan, even hinting in a recent interview that he wants to somehow be a part of the franchise. Read the full story
There’s 2 little gems in a big coal mine full of sh*t this week, movie-wise. 1. Here’s a great little game site/comedy troupe called The Game Station, who wonders: what would a Godfather sequel be like if Super Mario played the seminal Marlon Brando role, complete with drooping lower lip and nasally wheeze? Along with Nintendo mainstays Mega Man/Solid Snake/Halo Master Chief Guy among the heads of the families, trying to construct a truce? Here ya go:
Mario has apparently put aside his differences and vendettas to focus on a common enemy: the threat of Angry Birds and other unworthy iPhone games. As the patriarchs of a once-proud lineage, these classic game characters now face the threat of an unremarkable-yet-deadly enemy.
2. If you didn’t see it, Harrison Ford/ Han Solo rejected a particularly whiny Wookie on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Read on for the clip:
It’s been a slow news week for movies, aside from a couple Dark Knight Rises developments — which I’ll spare you, just because I’ve done enough reporting on that and there’s really nothing that big. Apart from the fact that Nolan and co. want to land a big-ass cargo plane called a Hercules on some residential street in Scotland (which has some of the yokels up in arms about it understandably) and Anne Hathway’s Catwoman costume will more closely resemble the one of recent comics as opposed to the Eartha Kitt/Julie Newmar/Michelle Pfeiffer digs.
(Conceptual Artwork courtesy of fanboiii). Whaddya think? Too realistic, not sexy enough? Cause according to official sources, this may be the pretty much the next closest thing.
Looks more like Arnold than Arnold himself
So an aging and orange arnold is set to return as everyone’s favorite android. Everyone knows that there’s always gonna be only one Terminator, and that’s Arnold, but unless they come up with some seriously magical sh*t quick to get us out of the ass-deep uncanny valley, he’s gonna be the first cyborg with a colostomy bag and Med-Alert watch. Maybe we’ll get to see Linda Hamilton rub Ben-Gay on his bullet wounds. The best thing is that the original cast (Michael Biehn/Linda Hamilton/Eddie Furlong) will return as well. Having typed that it’s getting easier to realize why James Cameron washed his hands of this franchise so long ago.
It might be that that he named his kid Kal-El (after Superman’s real name?), and says it so casually in interviews, like his name is Mikey. Or maybe the fact that he has so much goddamn money, he bought a buncha houses and a castle, and then went bankrupt. The rumor is that if you interview the guy, and he catches you looking at his hairline, he will end the interview. It might be that.
On that same subject, a bizarre trend of recent hairstyles has recently caught many moviegoers off-guard. While many of us realize we’ll never get the pompadour of Peggy Sue or the Elvis-loving locks of Wild at Heart, it’s Cage’s recently off-kilter mugs that make his films harder to concentrate on.
3. Bangkok Dangerous (see above) — Sporting a cut similar to John Travolta’s in Pulp Fiction, this is a cut that might look cool but even someone as cool as Travolta was walking that fine line. It sort of proves that this late in life, having the long hair is more of a distraction from that face. We love ya without it, Nic. But that’s okay, cause all I had to do was see those locks on the movie poster to know enough to ignore it.
Disclaimer: Not including Ed Wood/MST3K-style stuff here, just cuz it’s too easy… Otherwise it’d probably be “Santa vs. the Martians.”
5. Aliens from Alien Nation : Alien Nation continues with that pesky problem that plagues many of its fellow Hollywood ilk: Aliens who came from billions of light years away don’t have to look entirely unlike us, but couldn’t they have at least tried harder than a simple bald cap and some painted spots on the head? Bonus: the guy aliens get pregnant, complete with their own OB-GYNs.
(warning: pseudo-naughty bits ahead)
Rad Omen — “Rad Anthem” (Nicholas Goossen): Get together 5 fast-food restaurant mascots for a party on Friday night — in this case, Ronald McDonald, The Colonel, Jack from Jack in the Box, and the Burger King himself — all doing shots, doing lines, partaking in general debauchery, etc., and it”s hard not to get hooked. Arguably the lowest on the mascot totem pole, the miserable King doesn’t look like any amount of coke will help him.
Read the full story
5. RAD – The bike scene
This is really just a copy of what Daniel-san had to face at the Kobra-Kai dojo in Karate Kid, only with bike-riding ruffians. Goody two-shoes Cru (guess what I’m naming my kid now) and his girlfriend, the chick from Full House, strut their stuff at the high school dance. With his repertoire of ballet kicks and Gymkata-style dance moves, Cru’s kinda like Baryshnikov if he was a BMX bandit. One of the 80′s all-time best montages. They want a shot at your title, Daniel…
In a desperate move to get the live action AKIRA off the ground and recoup the serious $$$ they’ll be doling out, execs at Warner Bros. supposedly phoned Brad Pitt in a bid to get him as the lead.
Apparently there’s some serious sh*t brewing between the Hughes Brothers and Warner Brothers honchos in the pre-production stages for the film adaptation of what is arguably the greatest Japanese animated film of all time. The general consensus is that it’s also possibly the worst idea in a long time, even more than re-making Footloose.
5. KARATE KID III (1989) – You think you can rely on that crane crap?!
Everyone knows that Daniel-San got through Karate Kid 1 by pulling off a mean last-minute ‘Crane’ — that rather effeminate move that Mr. Miyagi probably just made up while drinking sake to make Daniel look like an ass. But it’s part 3 when Daniel, forced to learn under his newer, uber-yuppie master, is given the devastating news that his crane is no longer any good. “You don’t get it, do you?!” yells the new guy. Then he goes off to pout around the corner, secretly listening while a determined Daniel goes at it. Yeah, make his knuckles bleed!
Read on for the top 4…