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Film Fridays The Creepiest Film of 2011 is Also the Year’s Best Film

February 17, 2012 - 1:58 pm

We Need to Talk About Kevin is, simply put, an excruciating experience. It’s like a kick to the solar plexus, having the wind knocked out of you — or like surviving a fistfight with a larger, stronger opponent you wish you’d never challenged. You emerge pummeled, dazed, and content never to go back and try it again.

The Kevin in question is a child who dedicates every single moment of his life to deconstructing and eating away at his mother’s bruised psyche, like a carrion bird scavenging a carcass. The debate surrounding the film is an unusual one: is Kevin a bad seed? Or more the result of negligent parenting? And even more so: why would anyone watch this film? Read the full story

Film Fridays Star Wars Baked Goods Get Weird, Princess Bride Statues, and The Best Star Trek You’ve Never Seen

February 10, 2012 - 12:55 pm

Yes, we know that the official 3-D re-release of The Phantom Menace is dropping this weekend — and that Lucas officially came forward yesterday and confirmed that, yes, Greedo always shot first — so let’s move on. Focus on the positive. Imbibe in petty revenge.

Like biting the heads off of edible Ewoks, for instance.

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Film Fridays Dumb White Girls: 5 Ways to Survive An Outdated American Horror Tradition

February 3, 2012 - 9:17 pm

We don’t even think much of it anymore. When a horror movie trailer plays, it’s pretty much a given that every girl in said coming attraction will die in really brutally awful ways. Until the last few minutes or so, when the last girl standing — preferably pasty, pale, and virginal — manages to avoid doing anything excessively stupid long enough to survive. Should you find yourself, however unlikely, in a similar situation –  Here’s 4 signs you won’t be the first to die: Read the full story

Film Fridays 5 Reasons Ben Stiller Is Better When He’s Crazy

January 20, 2012 - 7:20 pm

Wow, that’s a tremendous-looking trophy

After trying to make it through Tower Heist on VOD, I found myself confronting two uncomfortable truths: 1)  that’s 20 minutes I’ll never get back. 2) Psychotic, angry Ben Stiller — or at the very least, the disturbed Ben Stiller — is the only way to forget all this. So here’s 5 roles, comedic and otherwise, that could be enough to make us forget Night at the Smithsonian and even Meet the Fockers and the one that came after that.

5. Happy Gilmore: As the old folks home attendant who forces seniors into a sweatshop so he can sell their quilts on the black market, Stiller’s genius here is equal parts handlebar mustache and sad truth.

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Film Fridays Star Wars TV Series and the Plot to Kill George Lucas; Tim Burton Talks Beetlejuice 2, and Shut Up About Bane

January 13, 2012 - 6:38 pm

Get ready to get angry. Of course, who’s better at getting us angry than George Lucas? Lucasfilm executive producer Rick McCallum revealed this past week that the Star Wars TV series is tentatively being titled Star Wars: Underworld, with both he and Lucas adding that it’s just an idea, and not the real title, and other than that nothing’s really set for the show. Which isn’t coming out for “more than 4 or 5 more years.”
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Film Fridays If Movie Posters Told the Truth; Stephen King Gets Film Anthology; and ‘Akira’ Dies a Horrible Death (We Hope)

January 6, 2012 - 4:17 pm

Movie posters are pretty much all lies. And most of the time, they’re better than the actual film they’re promoting. But theshiznit, who have taken the gist of some of the latest and most popular films to come out, make a good point — given the level of hate aimed at Sarah Jessica Parker, one can’t help but wonder exactly how she keeps getting roles. And Drive, as awesome as it was, is a kind of just like an awesome video game.

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Film Fridays Will Bruce Wayne Die in The Dark Knight Rises? Who Will Replace Him?

December 2, 2011 - 9:34 pm

Perhaps the best (or at least most tantalizing) theory behind The Dark Knight Rises comes courtesy of Cody Johnston, who I’m gonna paraphrase, dissect, and pimp the sh*t out of on this one. His concept is simple and sound: If Nolan is the Nolan he’s led us to believe he is, he’ll kill Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight Rises. There’s a few good reasons why.

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Film Fridays Cinema’s Top 5 Underrated Female Villains

November 18, 2011 - 5:37 pm

5. Varla – Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill! Tura Satana does what every great villain (or hero) should: race fast vintage cars, pummel yuppie scum, and expose voluminous amounts of cleavage. Damn. She’ll slip your gf a roofie and rob your wheelchair-bound dad without a second thought.

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Film Fridays Cinema’s 5 Most Criminally Underrated Villains (Male)

November 11, 2011 - 11:21 pm

5. Ike Clanton – Tombstone: The least ruthless of this top villains list, Stephen Lang’s portrayal of Clanton also remains the most criminally overlooked. A slobbering, raging drunk, Clanton was a lot of bark and no real bite. Despite him being a rather meek criminal at heart, he was still a bastard, and a killer, and Lang should really have been nominated for an Oscar on this one. He’s so good he even steals scenes from Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday. Go to 1:35 for Ike; he’s the beet-faced guy in blue.

Best Scene: “See? A little rap on the beak get you some respect around here.”

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Film Fridays The Top 5 Nerdiest Halloween Costumes, Plus a Bunch of Cool Dark Crystal/Labyrinth Concept Art

November 4, 2011 - 10:35 pm

‘Tis no easy task, choosing the geekiest costumes from this past All Hallows’ Eve — especially since all things nerd are now mainstream, pseudo-trendy and thus downright unavoidable (excluding England circa 1979, who thought Doctor Who costumes would be popular?). Ed. Note: We did our best to eschew superhero outfits, video game characters and human Tetris blocks as they seem to have become more prevalent over the years.

5. The Google Maps Orange Guy: These two guys loved the Google Orange Guy so much, they decided to put together a costume, from what looks like stuff you could get at your local Rite Aid. The costume itself isn’t that interesting, but the video detailing its conception is pretty cool.

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