Film Fridays GI Joe 2 Developments, Anne Hathaway Gets Hotter, and More on Ridley Scott’s Alien Prequel

July 1, 2011 - 10:43 pm

Prometheus

It’s been a slow news week for movies, aside from a couple Dark Knight Rises developments — which I’ll spare you, just because I’ve done enough reporting on that and there’s really nothing that big. Apart from the fact that Nolan and co. want to land a big-ass cargo plane called a Hercules on some residential street in Scotland (which has some of the yokels up in arms about it understandably) and Anne Hathway’s Catwoman costume will more closely resemble the one of recent comics as opposed to the Eartha Kitt/Julie Newmar/Michelle Pfeiffer digs.

Catwoman

(Conceptual Artwork courtesy of fanboiii). Whaddya think? Too realistic, not sexy enough? Cause according to official sources, this may be the pretty much the next closest thing.

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Film Fridays Angry Old People Argue Movies

June 24, 2011 - 9:46 pm

Marcia and Lorenzo: Don't f*ck with granddaddy

The real reason you read film critics are to vehemently disagree and/or feel vindicated that you KNEW Green Lantern/the new J.Lo vehicle/yet another Kate Hudson movie was going to suck. It also clarifies the reason I don’t do many reviews, if only because a) I haven’t got enough dough to get out and see a new release (lemme know if you wanna donate cashmoneymillions to me) and b) these guys may be the best thing to happen to movie criticism since some generous soul posted outtakes of Siskel and Ebert on the web, fighting over McDonalds. Speaking of which:

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Film Fridays New Conan Trailer, Liam Neeson Returns to the Dark Knight Rises, and Russell Crowe is Superman’s Dad

June 17, 2011 - 10:24 pm

GET TO THE CHOPPA

Happy Friday — have a trailer for the new Conan movie…torn torsos, impalings, evisceration, and most importantly no real evidence of a story — just like the original. Now all we need is James Earl Jones and we’re gold, Jerry…Read on turks.

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Film Fridays Gangster’s Paradise: A Case for One of the Greatest Mob Movies Ever

June 10, 2011 - 10:52 pm

Don't Call Me a Dick

I was at the pub with some friends and, after game scores, the conversation inevitably turned to gangster films. (Ok, we were actually sitting around the XBox like dorks, playing some first-person shooter). At the words gradually became more and more monosyllabic and grunt-like, the issue’s significance followed suit: what is the most underrated gangster film ever? Note: You may have to consume a fair amount of your alcoholic beverage of choice to appreciate the argument.

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Art People Are Strange (This Means You): Tim Burton Goes to LACMA

June 9, 2011 - 10:19 am

Tim Burton @ LACMA

Unlike so many modern art museums, with their half-assed, 1-painting-every-10-feet exhibit rooms, the minds behind LACMA’s new Tim Burton display have made it a fully immersive event. From the crooked walls which compliment his labyrinthine mind, to a giant monster mouth you must brave to get there — suburbanites and city-slickers alike are being plucked from their ordinary world and thrown into the strange. Consider it less a museum space than sanctuary inside Burton’s pleasantly twisted brain.

More Burton

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Film Fridays Clive Barker: Whatever Happened to The Scariest Man in Cinema?

June 3, 2011 - 5:41 pm

Clive Barker

In a cinema dominated by Saw remakes and plain un-scary haunted house films, consider this a personal plea to what was once cinema’s most promising force in horror — a man that now seems to have completely vanished from a genre he once seemed on the verge of re-inventing, and still in dire need of some innovation.

Quentin Tarantino once commented, “Nobody knows how to get under the skin like Clive Barker.” This was after Stephen King had proclaimed that he’d “witnessed the future of horror, and his name is Clive Barker,” something that remained the unofficial Barker movie tagline for many moons. So where in hell has cinema’s horror Jesus gone?

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Film Fridays Dear Mr. Nolan: 5 Irreverent but completely necessary Things to Include in The Dark Knight Rises

May 27, 2011 - 10:52 pm

Bane, Please Don't Suck

With filming already having commenced for The Dark Knight Rises, with the Nolans masterfully pulling their strings behind the scenes, and with Gary Oldman calling the script ‘fantastic’, we are sure the final installment will be amazing. Nonetheless, here’s some dorky requests from a fanboy that believes certain things could make said installment perfect.

5. Bad-Ass MF. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s sick of seeing congenial, venerable, bow-tie wearing Morgan Freeman. Lucius Fox has skills that would shame McGyver and yet keeps taking orders from people, even though he’s smarter than them. He should become Luscious Fox, have some girls by his side, and use those skills of his to start kicking some ass. Get angry, Mr. Freeman. The closest to a bad guy we’ve had is you in that movie with all the flooding and Christian Slater.

I Ain't Driving You Anywhere, Bitch.

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Art Gallery Artsy-Fartsy in Suburbia: The Echo Park Art Walk

May 23, 2011 - 11:11 am

Echo Park is the perfect place to have an art walk (preferably during the day, before the Tec-9 fire/stabbings erupt). It’s also a somewhat chaotic affair, strung throughout suburbs surrounding the local paddleboat haven/mini-tropical Watts: galleries in garages and lofts; museums in backyards, and hawkers peddling hand-crafted wares in front of their houses. Obviously it ain’t like walking into your local MOCA/MOMA, especially since the actual ‘museum’ is 2+ miles long and a good 15 degrees hotter.

And pleasantly disorienting: my accomplice and I got lost almost immediately; thank god those starving artists had child laborers to provide us with chalk drawing-maps and cotton candy!

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Film Fridays Die Monster Die: ‘Habit’ Is the Greatest Vampire Film You’ve Never Seen

May 13, 2011 - 6:50 pm

Habit

This year’s remake of Fright Night begs the question. Have you had it with the f*cking vampire films? It didn’t used to be this bad. Once in while we would see a novelty vampire movie that was awesome, sometimes big-budget messes that were so fun to watch you didn’t care how pretentious they seemed (Interview with the Vampire and Coppola’s Dracula being two of the best examples). Habit was one of the former, an indie vampire flick that came out in the late 1990’s, and which still has yet to be usurped as reigning king of the genre. Its brilliance is in its simplistic approach, without coming across as simple.

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Film Fridays Thor vs.The Beaver! Or: ChinaShop Reviews Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet

May 6, 2011 - 7:41 pm

Ach du Beaver

The two movies receiving the most hype this weekend are The Beaver, although the speculation is really over whether it’s going to redeem Mel Gibson’s career. So far, the verdict ain’t that good. Roger Ebert lauded the film’s performances, though he apparently has trouble with the fact that it’s about a man who, well, wears a beaver puppet on his hand. Manhola Dargis, self-proclaimed greatest film reviewer in the world, claims that “A promising story about a madman and his puppet fast becomes a trite tale of a father and son as the combustible Mr. Gibson is tamped down…” I’m not going to waste my time watching the movie. I’m giving The Beaver a sh*tty review based solely on the sh*tty trailer.

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