Are you a soldier of fortune having issues coordinating your wardrobe for your dangerous coin-tel mercenary assignments Tired of wearing the same old army surplus military fatigues. The Ralph Lauren Twill Cargo Flight Pant is now more of a haute option for the fashionable gun for hire.
Usually the fragrance of Tom Ford Black Orchid or red bottom Christian Louboutins scream sex to me, but lately these big fools gold Michael Kors watches have been catching my eye. Even though they are gold toned, for everyone cant afford a 18kt gold Rolex Yachtmaster, they are still classy, sexy and very tasteful. Probably one of the sexiest accessories on a woman outside of false eyelashes and helium inflated tits, yes I’m superficial, Is a nice big, bold, gold watch. If you are a woman and you are too boojee to be seen with a Guess watch on wrist, but don’t want to drop 6 grand on a Tiffanys Atlas, get yourself a Michael Kors. It will definitely give you that opulent, sultry look that you are looking for if you are a member of the “broke and still posh” club.
Allow me to first address the creative team at Legendary Films, who will probably never read this review, You are futile in your attempts at reproducing 300. Where I come from, to try is to fail and Legendary has been failing across the board when it comes to remaking the biased Spartan interpretation of the Battle of Thermopylae.
Lets go back in film history and take a look at a couple of Legendary’s features. 300 no review needed here. And if you saw the film and were not impressed by the spectacle of violence on film, to me your opinion doesn’t count anyway. There was enough testosterone pumping bloodshed in 300 to fuel a Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds home run derby. Then came Clash of the Titans, which was a remake of one of my favorite childhood films also titled Clash of the Titans. It had some of the most corny but entertaining cgi ever in a movie. There could be no possible way that the makers of 300 could ruin this movie but guess what, against all odd, they did #epicfail.
Since I’m infatuated with Timmery Turner every way sexually, mentally, etc. Allow me to first profess my lust for her since I refuse to send her a letter filled with naughty nothings VIA Facebook. “I’m sure that she gets a lot of that.” She embodies everything that I would want to take home to my mother. She’s aggressive, determined, hot, fascinating I could go on and on, but I won’t because this is not a racy novel that you purchase in the check out line at Walmart. She states herself that “If there’s one thing in life that trumps my obsession for stilettos, its my obsession for good looking men.” Well, since I was grafted by God personally in heaven 29 years ago where only ridiculously beautiful men are born, I’d like to think I have a chance with Timmery.
In the 80’s And 90’s Tinseltown was overly saturated with a bunch of corny ass karate movies. Chinese martial arts was being exploited like a F list actress on a Hollywood “casting couch.” You had “American Ninja,” “Three Little Ninjas” and “Gymkata” just to name a few. OK, I have to admit that I own two copies of “Gymkata” On DVD, don’t ask me how the plots were all the same. Spoiled suburban white kid from Mulberry somehow gets enrolled in the three day accelerated Shaolin Master Kung Fu Program, they champion The Snake, The Dragon, The Crane, The Panther, and The Tiger which is administered by the old Asian sensei who is for some reason on his death bed and can only garner enough strength to teach the young disciple these moves that took the master years to master. These newly initiated Kung Fu Masters now travel to uncharted and hazardous lands that even the most proficient shaolin monk of old couldn’t navigate. They annihilate all obstacles in their path and in the grand finale they crush the head nemesis that is a fingernail away from destroying the planet and for some odd reason the ancient monks couldn’t accomplish this feat so they had to enlist the one who knows the “ancient way of the tiger” from Mulberry because the prophecy said so.
When the young ladies first see Gustavo Alfonzo, they are quick to notice his easy going persona with a drop of charm. His smooth good looks win them over as the Venezuelan born heart throb turns most females into adoring fans. With his boyish good looks you would think that he was a Spanish boy model, yet his blend of street salsa and urban hip hop is without question some of the best this reporter has heard in a mighty long time.
Don’t believe me check it out for yourself. his energetic and eccentric music video “Malibu Bash” sets the standard and contains all of the elements that every hetero/metro sexual male who wants to properly throw an epic pool needs to have… bad bitches, fat blunts and cases of brew.
