BEST FILM

The Fighter: Christian Bale gives the performance of a lifetime as a crackhead who keeps jumping out the back window of his drug den into a garbage bin to avoid his mother when she shows up on his porch. The guy has transmogrified himself both physically and mentally to tackle every one of his roles, from The Machinist to Batman and now this — he’s one of several actors who carry this movie to greatness. Pretty much everyone else in that film deserves an award for best portrayal of white trash-Aqua Net-addled ho.

What will probably get Best Picture is The Social Network — just cause everyone seems to be talking about it, and it’s relevant for our times and all that crap. It’s got the best dialogue of all the contenders; seems like either this one or the artsy Merchant Ivory- type pic, The King’s Speech, is likely to get the most votes. But if Inception gets it, it might change that sort of fuddy-duddy snob mentality the Academy’s had tacked to itself for so long.

WORST FILM(S)

But the worst are always the most fun, so it’s time to unload on the bastards that made no effort to really do anything than collect a paycheck.

This poster pretty much says it all. As humans, we’re supposedly born with an innate sense of good and evil, of right vs. wrong — if we don’t, we’re what any shrink technically labels a sociopath. So the only logical deduction to make is that anyone who paid $17.50 to sit and eat popcorn in front of Killers is a sociopath. Heigl’s the worse for wear here — Kutcher’s next film is with Natalie Portman while she is doing another rom-com, this time with people you’ve never heard of.

There were a few close runners-up. Some of these were bad for the plot, others for the acting; some bad for both the plot and the acting; and some still had that annoying  je ne sais quoi you couldn’t quite put your finger on; there was just something about it. I tried hard to think about what they were, which wasn’t easy, but here goes:

THE MOVIE / THE UNDERLYING DISTRACTION
From Paris With Love / John Travolta’s head

The Back Up Plan / JLo’s jewelery tweet

How Do You Know / Jack Nicholson’s on the movie poster, yet gets 20 minutes of screen time = refund

MOST UNDERRATED

Somewhere (Sofia Coppola). Stephen Dorff returns.

I’m Still Here (Casey Affleck) They couldn’t keep the gag going for long enough. Say what you will, Joaquin is a hell of a liar.

The Illusionist (Sylvain Chomet) This is painstakingly crafted 2-D animation that tells a beautiful and somewhat depressing love story. Better than anything Disney or Pixar have done in years.

MOST LIKELY TO BE NOMINATED

If anyone actually cares about The Academy Awards, here are the Golden Globe Nominees, which usually end up somewhere in the Top Ten Oscar list.

Black Swan
The Social Network
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech

True Grit, while no No Country for Old Men, is still brilliant and surely to earn some of the top nominations. Jeff Bridges proves he’s one of the greatest actors of all time, and Josh Brolin gives the best 10 minute performance of his career.

New DVD Releases this week include Howl (with James Franco), Dinner for Schmucks, and The Last Exorcism.

Next week’s DVDs are Alpha and Omega; The Social Network, and Piranha 3-D.

Ok, see you next week if I’m still around.

Words by Jeff Nau