The two gentlemen you see before you are Graham Funke and StoneRokk. Like Mixmaster and Long Haul (of the infamous Constructicons posse), they are strong and capable individuals known to shake the floor and break ground. And like their transforming robot counterparts, they form a devastating mix of talent and dexterity when joined together. They are The Captains of Industry, silver-tongued mixologists whose reverence for party rocking and true school DJ skills may only be matched by their love of irony, eyewear and well groomed facial hair. In 2010, they brought you some of the illest DJ mixes on the planet: Ditch Fridays and Trabajo, both of which can be downloaded here. In 2011, they will bless you with a whole lot more.

The venerable Captains took some time out of their busy yule-logging and egg-nogging schedules to chat with us about Money Shots, $6,000 coats, and what it takes to put fickle Vegas and LA crowds in the palm of your hand. Read on, my friends. Read on.

I seem to notice a distinct nautical theme on the Captains of Industry website. When was the last time you guys were “on a boat?”

The Captains: We spend more time on “aeroplanes” than any watercraft, a circumstance rife with downsides, the most unfortunate being that we have no influence over who flies with us. So we choose to let that which we strive to more readily attain—an abundance of leisure, for instance—dictate that which defines us. We are not the first to do so, though the way in which we present ourselves falls perfectly into step with those who have done it best. A simple answer to your question would be “We are on a boat as much as possible,” but given our obligations, we must compensate with aged scotch, a fine briar, and a good book in many cases. It’s the projection of the “captain” that captures the imagination. And everybody loves seamen.

Graham, I read somewhere that Sting dug your set so much at Forty Deuce in Vegas that he asked you to make him a mix? How did all that go down? Did you make it, and did you toss any Police tunes on there?

Graham Funke: If Kanye West ever said anything pertinent, it’s that he speaks in colors and the journalist repeats it in black & white; the news item you are referring to is a bit queered. Sting did indeed ask if I would make him a mix, though I simply supplied him with our current mix CD, which was laden with rock anyway. I have DJed a few of Sting’s soirees over the years, and I tend to always avoid playing songs by the Police. We find that the more legendary the artist, the less they enjoy hearing their own jams in that kind of environment. Prince, for instance, has informed us before that he will leave if any of his music is played while present. Meanwhile, you have some rappers and many new rock bands asking the DJ for their singles the second they step in the club. But you take someone like Mick Jagger—who has been in Forty Deuce—and if I drop “(Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” while he’s there, every eye in the joint goes directly to him to see what his reaction  to hearing his own song is. As someone who is getting a lot of attention already, I’m sure it’s the last thing he wants. And I try to be sensitive to that. This isn’t “Vanilla Sky.” It’s not “Inception.”

I know it’s kinda a played out argument, but every year I rap out with a DJ friend of mine about how “awesome” these new tools and programs are for mixing records. (I think the last thing he tried to push on me was the new deejay iPad app.) I know I’m kinda in the minority, but having an algorithm mix my tunes is like having some other dude do all my “heavy petting” when I’m getting down with a chick. Seriously, though, do you subscribe to the argument that you can never really (really) be a true DJ until/unless you can mix records and have that rhythmical connection with two pieces of music playing in synergy? Maybe Mike can answer this one?

The Captains: It doesn’t matter what technology yields. The primary goal of a DJ is to create a cohesion among songs to maximize the manipulation of your audience. Every night we must find a way to get these people in the palm of our hand. It involves a philosophy that requires years of field work, in addition to multiple investments of emotion. There will never be any machine, no series of 1′s and 0′s, that can replicate that. At least not before 2012 when the world ends, which we are counting on.

What does it take to really have a good, solid, credible career in the Hollywood DJ world? Is overexposure ever a bad thing?

The Captains: Things are different now than when we were cutting our teeth in Hollywood. The very style that defined us is what drove the importation of LA-based DJs into the other markets. At a certain point, sometime just after the turn of the century, there was a void of these DJs in Hollywood, most of whom had taken to the road, which forced the next wave of DJs to rely less on our influence and more on the resources at their disposal—for better or worse; there is no formula for taste. Hollywood is a unique market in that you could be the hottest DJ in town—doing all the most popular clubs and high profile events—but since the crowd that has access to these functions is so small, you can easily continue working without any real exposure at all.

As kind of a follow-up to that, how does the Vegas scene differ, and how do you survive in that? I kinda look at Vegas and LA as two hot-but-totally-mental chicks; one blonde one brunette. Each needs a little unique finessing. Help me understand how you do it.

Graham Funke: In my experience—and this may not ring true for everybody—there are markets that cultivate programming that their crowds respond to and markets that import programming that their crowds respond to. In cities like Miami and Chicago and Vegas, for example, the crowd is expecting a specific product and a DJ must be versatile enough to deliver that, which is why you hear so many horror stories of DJs being pulled: they failed to tame the beast. If you come to Vegas to DJ, unless you are on the level of Jazzy Jeff or Swedish House Mafia—acts who have a distinct sound that may outweigh the draw of the venue’s reputation—then it does not suffice to simply come here and “do you.”

StoneRokk: Because of the constant consumer turnaround in Vegas, you are playing to the widest spectrum of tastes on Earth, and it is never the same. DJs need to be able to switch gears at a moments notice, keeping in mind that there are hundreds of thousands of dollars at stake. We go to the mattresses every night; and Graham and I fancy ourselves war-time Consiglieris, with a a long standing track record to boot.

So which items, clothing or otherwise, are on your wishlists this year? Would love to get items from both of you.

Graham Funke: Three years ago, Burberry Prorsum made a leather coat with shearling. It cost $6,000. We referred to it as the “drug dealer status jacket.” Yes, price versus worth is totally relative, and that was too rich for my blood, even when it dropped to $3,000. Things looked on the up-and-up when the tag dipped to $1,750, though by that time, my size was not readily available. If I could find one this year, I might consider paying the $6,000, if it would free me from waking up every morning weighed down by regret.

StoneRokk: With a sui generis approach to life, most everything is affected. From our conversations to how we spend the rare moments of down time and, of course, what we wear. Much like most of the world, clothes do not get made to fit the masses, so we have forged a relationship with Eamon Springall and Ryan Doherty at Stitched in Las Vegas where we get everything from suits to custom whiskey that awaits our arrival in a private locker.

Man, that “Do They Know It’s Christmas” video is amazing. Saw Cheapshot in there…Morty. Crazy to see Adam in there. But it made me think…whatdoes it take to really keep a brotherhood of DJs together in this day and age?

The Captains: This gets discussed a lot. Here is an easy way to describe it: our immediate peer group all became DJs in an organic manner. We loved records and that was the sole impetus. There was no fame or money or media attention. Now that these elements are part of the equation, you are forced to question what draws somebody to want to be a DJ in the first place. Guaranteed, some motivations aren’t as pure as ours were.

What’s the most inappropriate song request you’ve ever gotten? Where you’re like, “Dude/Girl, wrong place, wrong time, wrong DJ.”

Graham Funke: The list for most appropriate song request is shorter and probably more interesting.

StoneRokk: For the consumers who try and solicit my attention, I say this: make a suggestion as to what will make your experience more enjoyable. Your sense of entitlement only makes me want to play the song less.

Mike, how’s the Money Shot project coming along? Getting more familiar with the camera?

StoneRokk: That started as a chronicle of my life and development as a shutterbug. Due to the name, Money Shot Project, it garnered attention from the more salacious intranet scout, which made for some interesting web wooers.

What do you guys have popping off in 2011? What’s the latest with Mas Trabajo?

The Captains: We aim to create a circumstance in which people come to expect quality product at a consistent pace as opposed to any one specific offering. Mas Trabajo is definitely coming to the masses in Q1 of 2011, along with a slew of other amazing ideas and items to compliment it. Any and all visits to our blog will keep you abreast of the things you need in your life.

Interview by Rich Thomas