The Occupational Safety & Health Administration (OSHA) Standard for portable ladders contains specific requirements designed to ensure worker safety when using portable ladders. #1926.1053(b)(4) States: Ladders shall be used only for the purpose for which they were designed. Shit! I swear, if any of you tell Skerrit Bwoy from Major Lazer that OSHA may frown upon his leaping through the air from said ladder and into the crotch area of his lady friend, I will turn this car around and no one will be getting a drop of MDMA. Not even you DJ Diplo.
Now, by no means do I want harm to befall this acrobatic MC of the night. I just want you to be able to witness what wicked your way comes like I have on a few occasions (The most recent being Hard Fest this last weekend in Los Angeles). This time around Skerrit Bwoy was flanked by a pair of gilded ballerinas and two 15 foot long Asian Dragons which presumably aide in balancing the Feng Shui of the stage. He ascended this time to somewhere in the 12-15ft range on what is the tallest ladder I have seen to date. With a growl he slips the surly bonds of Earth and arcs outward easily another 15ft before crashing down into the girl parts of awaiting heroine. Bravo sir, bravo.
Now, I’m not sure what position this is called in the ol’ Book of Love. But I guarantee that once I can afford said $400 ladder, American flag pants, and complete the various training classes on ladder safety. And meet that special woman willing enough to allow me to mount her at estimated speed of 25m.p.h., I will be out sick that day…
