Opaque could best be described as a sort of novelty restaurant in Santa Monica, California — one that a lot of people seem to have heard about through the grapevine but to which few have actually been. If you haven’t heard, it’s where full-course meals are served in a completely pitch-black dining room (yeah, the above pic was taken with a flash-bulb) and plays like a sort of sensory-deprivation experiment that sort of doubles as a gourmet dining experience. One of the first things you notice about the place is how seriously they take their theme — even the outside makes it stand out as the only place on the block in total darkness. So is it worth all the hype?

Concentrate hard on that photo above, because that’s exactly what it’s like while you’re eating. You select your entree (choose from two full-course meals — Fillet Mignon or Sun Dried Tomato Pesto Rigatoni, with appetizer salads and either Chocolate Lava Cake or Mango Panna Cotta for desert), before being led into a pitch-black room by your waiter, who explains what the process will be like that evening and that, despite the panic you might be feeling, he’ll be there to literally lend you a hand should you need it. All of the waiters at Santa Monica’s Opaque are blind, with most of them having been recruited from L.A.’s Braille Institute. Before dessert, you’re handed a small wool bag full of various items — from figurines to tinkertoys– and identify them by touch. It’s basically the guys vs. the girls, and whoever gets the most guesses right wins. That might make it a little more fun if you could see your competition. So you learn you’re either good at using your other sensory apparitions, or you suck at it (we were fortunate enough to stumble into a 20-year high school reunion–but just by the voices, you could identify the jocks and the cheerleaders). And the prize? Uh, nothing really.

So…after spending a whopping $236 with my date–almost double the average at a place like Spago’s, and only for two meals — it’s clear that there’s obviously a little bit of the bad (or at least, the questionable) that comes with the good. Yes, you emerge feeling a little high — um, mostly from the head spinning due to re-adjusting to the light– and you feel somewhat appreciative for your eyes, but with only two full-course meals to choose from, and being unable to see them? Not to mention wondering if you could be eating in the equivalent of what looks like a dungeon, and finally, knowing that the owner saves a shitload on electricity… Are the meals good? Yes. One hundred bucks a piece-good, not including drinks? No effing way!

On the plus side: One of the first things you should do if you make reservations at Opaque: request Michael to be your waiter (the guy in the picture). As far as I know, he’s the only one who’ll serenade you with a love ballad sung a cappella. It sort of made up for the insane entree prices–but you might not be so lucky.

Words by Jeff Nau