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Another Halloween–and hundreds more hordes of freaks, fruits, and assorted miscreants, all coming out of the woodwork to flood Santa Monica Blvd. for the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval. What began as good-natured fun with my fellow Angelenos turned something which all-too-eerily resembled a pesky L.A. traffic jam— one side of the street, you’re packed alongside the others like a human sardine; move to a lane that looks clearer and be caught between sweaty cavorting bodies in fleshy gridlock. Then a horde of H1N1-infected pigs come trampling your way, squashing into you and sending you sprawling onto the street. Even Beaker from The Muppets got in on the act.

My friend and I waded through the tons of people, almost tripping over the bigass clown shoes of a beleaguered mime–peals of laughter echoed in our ears as some poor bastards succumbed to his size 20 feet. There were tons of vendors offering all kinds of stuff, along with the familiar sketchy falafel/hot dog hockers. (This year, West Hollywood wisely labeled their food tents with the kind of food offered–thanks guys!) Cops stood by with itchy trigger fingers waiting to gun down any disorderlies.

There was the man with the huge fake penis, flapping it in the way of any unfortunate soul who stumbled into him. As well as plenty of Kiss impersonators and silver haired maidens (and by maidens I mean guys) clomping down the street in moon-boots before taking a break to hit the West Hollywood Pinkberry. I wanted to see the Fire-eaters, but the sheer onslaught of traffic prevented us from getting to check them out. Fortunately there was gay techno-trance- dance death metal, performed by guys in silver sequin jumpsuits, running around at the behest of a young gentleman decked out in a French Revolution-era gown. The atmosphere and zombies–as well as their respective admirers– made it an overall incredible experience. Despite the 50-or-so block-walk, this is one of those experiences so amazing you forget about the pain and concentrate on the freak show.

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Words and photos by Jeff Nau

4.50 (6 votes)

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