I hate concerts. Yep, you’ve read it correctly, I HATE CONCERTS. Why in the hell would I want to stand in a crowd of 2,000 people and listen to the same stuff I hear day after day on the radio from the same band? Then I get to wait 45 minutes so they can get all their flutes and bongos off the stage so another band can get all their kazoos and what ever else silly crap up there only to repeat! Thank the sweet Lord though– somewhere from deep in the mountains of Austria, Red Bull’s round-the-clock team of musicologists has formulated a “new” type of concert concoction to serve our way: Red Bull Soundclash.
Now hear this kiddos… I got a taste of its yummy goodness this weekend, and it makes me want to strip down to my knee socks and have sexual congress with the Kool-Aid Man.
INGREDIENTS
1 Unparalleled musical conversation performance.
4 rounds of audience-participated back-and-forth battle with the winner decided by audible vote.
10 parts Erykah Badu’s long-time secretive side project, The Cannabinoids.
4 parts Shiny Toy Guns, Grammy-nominated electronica/indie/rock band from Los Angeles.
1,000-ish screaming University of Texas fans.
1,000-ish University of Oklahoma rival fans.
100 cases of assorted Red Bull flavorings.
50 cases of assorted Boozery.
20 tons of lighting, cameras, and general concert accoutrement.
2 stages
Directions
Warm up the crowd numbering 2,000-ish of arguably the greatest collegiate rivals in town for one of the biggest games of the year, with a mini pep rally.
Now have each band come out onto their respective stages and perform 3 of their own songs.
Erykah Badu’s hip-hop, pop, funk, R&B and soul Cannabinoids, followed by Shiny Toy Guns’ rock, pop, synth, and vocal duo.
Step 1- The Cover
Each band is to do its own previously rehearsed version of the Jackson 5’s “Never Can Say Goodbye’. Badu dons sparkly glove and grabs crotch. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Step 2- The Takeover
Begin with each band starting one of its own respective songs and then stopping mid track and letting the other band finish said song.
Badu slides in to “Tyrone’ and mid-track stops and has STG power its way through the rest.
STG launch’s into “Ghost Town’ and Badu’s Cannabinoids soothe their way on down the street.
A wee bit confusing at first, but the aural mix was enveloping. I got lost and think there might have been another song in there (or two– alas, I forgot to take my meds this day). Badu takes the point?
Step 3 – The Clash
Each band is to take one of their hardest driven/upbeat tunes and transform it into different genres– a mellow ballad, a dub, and my personal favorite, country. This last genre proved to be the most interesting: Badu stepped out held her own Texas roots with a yeehaw-laden “Soldier” followed by Petree donning a black cowboy hat and an old school country drawl for his acoustic duo rendition of “Chemistry of a Car Crash.”
The Okies have it. (By the way: Half of STG is from Shawnee, OK)
Step 4-The Wild Card
This final round requires each band to bring a “surprise” guest on stage. STG went with spinner warrior DJ Billy Sexcrime wearing Fall’s loveliest line of old school football regalia. Badu on the other hand brought out ex-Tripping Daisies and current Polyphonic Spree front man Tim Delaughter, who melted our faces off with what appeared to be an Etch-a-Sketch on acid.
All hands praise the Queen of R&B.
Step 5 – Serve and Enjoy While HOT!
The bands ended the night by having all 16+ members join together on a single stage and “Phish-ing” the night away for an extended period of musical improv. I can’t exactly say what went down over the course of those 3 hours in front of the American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX for the rest of the screaming crowd. But for a concert-purging person such as I, it’s nice to know that I left intoxicated by more than mere booze.
