The Red Carpet. Ahhhhh, you cruel bane of my photographic existence. For to stand shoulder, atop sweaty shoulder, of every crazy out there with a moblog and a black box stamped “made in Japan” is an experience I can only relate to being called an asshole by one’s Grandmother. But not this time bucko, I’ve actually convinced some poor PR person into thinking my black box shoots video and that I know what the hell to do with this fake microphone. I’m at the world premiere of Mike Judge’s newest slacker-piece EXTRACT and I’ve got some questions.
So here I wait waaaay down in the pecking order of the “Carpet”, smack-dab between Spanish language paper “El Mundo” and a Labrador retriever with what appears to be a webcam. The film’s star, Jason Bateman, has expediently run through position one with local TV anchor Mr. Makeup Johnson and is on his way. I’m guessing JB’s relying on those Cons he’s sporting to let him streak by. No sir. Go-go Gadget Microphone deploy.
Can we finally clear the air? After all the rumors, innuendo, and tabloid smack; is the damn thing going to be made? Green light, Teen Wolf 3?
Jason Bateman: (deadpan) “We’re halfway through it, should be done by Christmas. It’ll be a howl.”
Wow, just call me a jackass and tell me to shut the fuck up next time. Let’s try for a serious one.
It seems that most of the characters you play tend to be self-deprecating underdogs. Is this a choice you’re comfortable with or just an odd typecast?
Jason Bateman: (lost in space) “It’s accidental, I can’t pull off confidence.”
He signals for his handler to be saved.
Mike Judge is following close behind and I believe must have caught wind of the loverly exchange between my old pal JB and myself. He approaches without me having to hit him with a go-go gadget blow dart.
Is the true purpose of the movie being set in an “extract” factory, an allusion to the plight of the 9 to 5 worker having their souls extracted by their jobs?
Mike Judge: “I never really thought about it at that depth. I really just loved this old Adams Extract building that used be down south of Austin on I-35 when I was thinking of the setting”
Your last two films did not fair so well at the box office. Is this film’s key plot point, the crotch shot, based on some study of America’s Funniest Home Videos secret to success?
Mike Judge: “I recently talked to Pulitzer Prize winning author Jared Diamond at length about why getting hit in the nuts is funny. It’s just that getting hit in the nuts is a staple, it’s a definite go to.”
Sooo, what did we learn? I think that I thought that the questions I thought up were pretty thought provoking. Bad idea. I believe next time I’ll leave those to Oprah and ask just who could it be that Mr. Bateman is wearing tonight? The Labrador didn’t say a damn thing and he at least got a head pat.
BTW- I snuck in to the premiere and here’s my Haiku review.
Idiocracy…
Not as good as the EXTRACT
Office Space better
I’m pretty sure the Greek playwright Aeschylus had no idea that some 2,400+ years after “Agamemnon”, that the axis of the pop world would sometimes spin directly atop an archetype he created. Only in America, could a cleaver ruse by a devious wife be transformed into a place of honor for celebrity.
Words by Dustin Downing
