The nation is currently divided over the issue of Gay marriage.  As the battle over the rights of Gays who wish to forever proclaim their love and tie the knot rages on from state to state, those on each side of the argument find little to agree upon.  In fact, the opposing sides really hate each other and plan to never, ever, ever, ever agree on anything!  Go away!  I hate you!  (Hmm… you know, in a way, the arguers on each side are acting like a couple of drama queens.)

As someone who has attended a Gay wedding in the past, I cannot emphasize how much fun they are.  From the drinking to the dancing to the twist on traditions, let’s legalize Gay marriage nationally if only to watch the one show that would be more entertaining than Bridezillas… Groomzillas!  (So, now that you know where I stand, let’s both respect our respective opinions, so to speak.)

In any case, there is one thing I know that everyone, including those opposed to Gay marriage can all agree upon – that Gay-themed movies are the most entertaining in all of cinema.  They may not all seem Gay on the surface, like C-3PO from Star Wars, but these movies are as Gay as the image of Elton John in a pink tank top and tight jeans taking a drink from a garden hose while surrounded by a legion of male dancers eating dripping cherry popsicles.  (If that image offended some of you, I’m sorry.  That image would be hilarious even if it only existed in your mind.)

So, no matter where you stand, here are a few fabulous Gay movies and some movies in need of outing to tide you over until the next Prop 8 protest.

5. Another Gay Movie
Imagine a Gay version of American Pie with basically the same plot – a group of guys must lose their, um, virginity before the end of the summer.  It’s the same raunchy sense of humor but instead of putting their thing in a pie, they… you don’t want to know.  Gay or not, this is just damn funny.

4. Clerks 2
Kevin Smith has made a romantic comedy in which the central character must balance both the woman and the man in his life. And how many of us have had to actually make bro time?  Smith gets major kudos in the surprising jailhouse scene in which Randall and Dante, two men, express their love for each other – but not in a Gay way, um, actually, well, it is kind of is.  Kudos for Kevin Smith for allowing male characters to express themselves with such true feeling.

3. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Director, writer and star John Cameron Mitchell delivers the best transsexual punk musical of all time.  I defy you to name one other transsexual punk musical based on a stage play that is as powerful, electrifying, hard rockin’ and fabulous.  See.  You can’t even name one.  I rest my case.

2. Small Town Gay Bar
Director Malcolm Ingram “bears” his soul in this thoughtful documentary that is as funny as it is a genuine tear-jerker.  Ingram profiles Gay dive bars in the south from Louisiana to Mississippi and learns the rich history of these establishments along with the protesters seeking to shut them down.  The patrons who walk into these bars literally risk their lives just to buy a drink and meet like-minded folks over cocktails.

1. Top Gun
By now, everyone knows that Top Gun is really about a man’ struggle with his own homosexuality, which is exactly what Quentin Tarantino said during his memorable cameo appearance in Sleep with Me, written by Roger Avary.
Quentin’s rant begins, “You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the fucking line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re Gay, they represent the Gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the Gay way, go the Gay way. He could go both ways.”
For the full speech, see the video below… and then watch Top Gun again.  You’ll see it in a whole new light.

Words by Chris Gore