ChinaShop

Bruno is the host/queen of the hottest fashion show in Austria and life is good.  But his world comes crashing down when he is banned from the fashion world after ruining a high-profile show with a dangerously sticky Velcro suit.  All is lost until Bruno realizes that in order to find happiness he must come to America to become… famous.  Bruno’s travels provide endless fodder for homolarious situations often involving anal sex, anal bleaching, anal lube or dildos or bicycles with dildo attachments or even a TV remote used as a dildo.  Homolarity ensues.

Bruno is Sacha Baron Cohen’s follow up to his enormously successful feature Borat and plot-wise, it’s pretty much the same – the universal tale of a likable outcast traversing an unfamiliar world.  As one would expect, Cohen’s brand of hijack comedy is also the same, except while Borat had a few Gay moments, Bruno is a lot more Gay.  It’s actually much, much, much, much more Gay.  In fact, it’s totally Gay!  And it’s not just Gay, the situations in Bruno get downright pornographic (a previous cut was rated NC-17) with small black boxes sometimes covering up the flesh-piston-goings-on during several male-on-male action scenes and during a particularly graphic swinger party.  Cohen is a master at coaxing a reaction out of everyone he encounters, and while this time around things seems a bit more staged, it actually gets more dangerous especially when Bruno briefly visits the middle east in order to negotiate a peace treaty.  Of course, this is where he also confuses hummus with Hamas.

Borat shoved a mirror in America’s face and showed us how stupid we can be.  Bruno greases up that same mirror, shoves it up America’s ass and shows us the extent to which homophobia continues to penetrate deep inside the U.S.  What’s most shocking is that no matter where Bruno travels, from Los Angeles to Alabama, his Gaydar sees things that he previously thought to be manly and reveals them as, well, kinda… Gay.  (ACHTUNG! Poschible schpoilers!)

Bruno Revelation #5 Straight is the New Gay
Bruno realizes that big celebrities like Kevin Spacey and John Travolta and Tom Cruise enjoy tremendous fame.  And they also have one thing in common… they are straight!  So Bruno does a sharp 180 and plans to go straight an attempt to increase his chance at stardom.  But if you think about it… [REDACTED].

Bruno Revelation #4.  Hunting is Gay Camping
In one scene, Bruno attempts to prove his manliness by going hunting with a group of gun-toting rednecks. Bruno takes this male-bonding a bit too far when he tries to join one sleeping hunter in his tent… y’know to keep warm.  But if you think about it, this may not be the first time warmth in the wilderness was sought after by men during an innocent camp out.

Bruno Revelation #3. Action Heroes dress Gay
Post-apocalyptic movies like The Road Warrior with Mel Gibson feature characters dressed in leather and harnesses and leather boots.  While this look works after doomsday, this ensemble of clothing is frowned upon when worn at the mall or in certain rural areas.  In fact, it looks much like a Gay fetish S&M outfit as Bruno and his man-lover learn.

Bruno Revelation #2. Reprogramming Gays is Gay
Bruno seeks the help of two religious counselors trained in reprogramming Gays to become straight.  One especially effeminate priest earns the affections of Bruno who can’t keep the feelings stirring within him inside. Bruno compliments his lips as the nervous counselor with the perfectly coiffed hair drones on and on.  But if you think about, these two counselors knew just a bit too much about the Gay lifestyle to be straight arrows.

Bruno Revelation #1. Sports are Really Gay
“He got full penetration right up the middle,” and “There’re ten guys in that pile,” and “Look at him handle the deep ball,” were actually not heard in the movie Bruno.  Those lines may sound like they came from some Gay porn – you might think that, but you would be wrong.  Those are the kind of phrases spoken at every game by every sports announcer doing play-by-play for football.  Yes, the manly one, American football!  So, when Bruno points his Gaydar on the world of sports in the epic finale, the result is the biggest shock in the entire film.  He arrives at an arena sporting a full handle-bar moustache in his new persona as Straight Dave.  He is there to announce an event called Straight Dave’s Man Slam Max Out.  Bruno screams into the microphone and fires up the crowd of sports fans… and he doesn’t have to say anything remotely Gay-sounding at all.  He just announces it like one would discuss any other sporting event.  Now, this may or may not prove anything except that men will pay money to watch other men play with  balls.  And that sounds really Gay!
Words by Chris Gore

4.11 (9 votes)

 Loading ...