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Real-life couple Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones play a couple who choose a slightly different way of breaking up. Here the happy filmmakers enjoy themselves at the SXSW Filmmaker BBQ

“When does the break up last longer than the relationship?”

A couple lay naked on top of each other… they are… connected… entwined.  As the man fumbles through a seemingly futile effort to help her… get there… they just give up.  After four years together, the spark is gone, but there’s still love between Daryl and Zoe.  So, do they break up and go their separate ways, or continue to try to make it work?  Or is there another way altogether?

Attampting a realistic approach to a romantic film that resonates on any level is difficult enough.  But imagine writing, directing and starring in a film in which your female co-star is someone you have already been romantically involved with?  And the film effectively recounts all the best and worst moments of that last year in the relationship.  That was the challenge taken on by filmmaker/writer/actor Daryl Wein, whose film Breaking Upwards debuted to an audience moved to tears by its finale.  Okay, I was a member of the audience and I was  moved to tears.

Daryl and Zoe are a real-life New York couple who are clearly feeling claustrophobic by their codependency.  So, rather than break up, they choose to explore the option of seeing other people but in a discreet way.  They begin by selecting the days of the week in which they will share their lives and… then those days they are free to consider other options.

In a key moment, Zoe complains, “When does the break up last longer than the relationship?”  I know exactly how she feels, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.  For me, Breaking Upwards just hit too close to home, so my opinion may be somewhat tainted by my own recent experience.  (In fact, at one point I felt like I had already seen this movie because it was a version of my own life on film.  Sorry.  I just had to get that out of my system.)  This is the type of rare romantic film that avoids the Hollywood cliches and delves deep into the psychology of break ups while perfectly balancing both a male and female perspective.  Moving… sad… touching… romantic… it’s all that you’d expect told in a completely personal and unexpected way.  Just set your Facebook profile to “It’s complicated” and go see it.

by Chris Gore

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